Many men tend to think that sex = love. And Hollywood does its best to spread the word that this is in fact the case. Nothing could be further from the truth, however. Sex is NOT equal to love.
Love is the Foundation of Marriage
Is sex then not part of a loving relationship? It absolutely is.But sex is the result of love, and is not love in and of itself.
Furthermore, while sex can be used as a method to show your wife that you love her, it is by no stretch of the imagination the only - or even the most important - way to demonstrate your love.
Love, on the other hand, is the foundation of marriage. It is possible for a marriage without sex to survive, but a marriage without love will falter and die.
Why is that the case?
Simply because love is what God has based marriage upon.
Love is the total and selfless giving of yourself to, and for the benefit of, the other person. Love asks not but gives. It is not selfish at all. Love is an emotional matter.
Women are emotional
Women have been designed by God to be much more emotional than men. It is not a weakness in their design, but part of God's perfect plan. Accept that fact and adjust yourself to it.
I want to go even further - Do not only accept your wife's more emotional nature, but embrace it. Realise that it is a part of what makes her different to you, and also a part of what makes her special. Appreciate her emotionality rather than criticising it.
It is also because she is more emotional that she attaches much more importance to things (like love) that touch her emotionally.
The Really Important Things:
So if sex is not the most important way to demonstrate your love for your wife, then what is?
Here is a list of a few things that are of great(er) importance:
❤ ❥ You should tell her regularly that you love her
❤ ❥ But more importantly, show her daily that you love her (see below for more detail)
❤ ❥ Be truly interested in her
❤ ❥ You should listen intently when she speaks
❤ ❥ Show your support for everything she does
❤ ❥ Always be kind to her
❤ ❥ Always be gentle with her - especially when she is emotional
❤ ❥ Always be patient with her - especially when it is difficult
❤ ❥ Always be faithful to her and to your marriage.
How to SHOW her that you love her?
❤ ❥ Help her with the chores in the house
❤ ❥ Offer to cook dinner when she is ill
❤ ❥ Romance her the way you used to when you still dated her
❤ ❥ Attend to little things, like bringing her flowers as a surprise - for no reason other than because you love her!
❤ ❥ This list is by no means an exhaustive list of ALL the things you should do. Rather consider it a list of guidelinesabout the areas of life that you should be concentrating on.
The golden rule - learn to know your wife. Know what she likes and what she dislikes. And strive to give her more of what she likes and less of what she dislikes.
When you love your wife with your whole being and show it by living according to what she likes you will be her hero. She will adore you with all her heart. And then she will gladly also be your sex partner.
by Schalk Lubbe